Thursday, March 12, 2009

His big luscious lips

I have a friend who is from Europe*. As we all know, Europeans are much more tolerant of things than we are here in the good old U. S. of A. My European friend often scoffs at me and my guy friends for being homophobes. Not because we are, but because we don't join in on conversations like the one about how Johnny Depp is so hot that we'd want to sleep with him. We just don't want to sleep with Johnny Depp. That'd be gay**.

To show off his superior tolerance, my friend will periodically fake like he's going to kiss one of us, and then laughs when we back away. Of course, I always back away because while I don't have anything against gay people, I don't want to kiss another dude. That's just the way it is. He's taken to calling*** this game "gay chicken" and brags about how he's the champion.

Now, I'm a fairly competitive guy by nature, but gay chicken is one game I don't mind losing. Why? Because in order to beat him at it, I'd have to kiss him. Totally not worth it. He can be the gay chicken champion for the rest of his life for all I care.

The other day, another friend of mine said something suggestive, and my European friend turned away. That friend turned to me and said, "I think I just beat [European Friend] at gay chicken."

I said, "I'm not sure that's something you should be proud of."

Gay Chicken: Even when you win, you lose!







*I actually have many friends from Europe, but only one that pertains to this story.

**Someone posed a question to me yesterday: Can a man be bi-sexual, or, is he gay the minute he sleeps with another man, regardless of whether he's still attracted to women? I say a guy can be bi. She said it's not possible, that it only works that way for women. Thoughts?

***Or maybe it was me that named the game. I can't remember.

14 comments:

Dee Ice Hole said...

Might be BI for a while but the true die was set when at first they went homo. That's my $0.02

repliderium.com said...

Bi kinda bugs me- my theory is pick something & fuck it. I hate that fence sitting crap.

AnoMALIE said...

double standards = gay.

(man, I haven't used that connotation for the term in forever... I feel bad)

Anonymous said...

men can be just as bi as women. i just think bi-sexual men are less common than bi-sexual women in today's western society.

girl with no name said...

my totally unfounded, unscientific theory about bisexuality:

no matter what gender you are, if you identify as bisexual, you still end up with a man for a long-term relationship.

like i said, unfounded and totally not based on any data. just my personal theory.

2 Dollar Productions said...

First, I've never heard of gay chicken, but the name is a good for that particular game, which as you noted, is one I wouldn't mind losing on a consistent basis for largely the same reasons. I just wonder what your friend said to the European to win . . .

BSH ADMIN said...

Refer to Dan Savage about the male bisexuality issue-- he has a fairly strong opinion which I agree with.

Also? Your friend The European? Totes gay.

Inklings said...

I think people who claim to be bi are still in a stage of denial. They think it is more socially aceptable to say they are bi, but usually end up just being gay.

Native Minnow said...

For anyone who's interested: Dan Savage's opinion.

Boxer said...

I love Dan Savage.

And you're funny.

Lightning Strikes said...

In my opinion a man can't be bi...but that is just cause all my guy friends who clamed to be Bi went gay...

CHEF TROLL said...

Homosexuality is a pathology with a strong association with other pathologies. Those associations in ascending order:

1) Self-identified "lesbians". Few additional pathologies.

2) Self-identified "bi-sexual" females. More pathologies.

3) Self-identified "gay" males. Significantly more than both 1 and 2.

4) Self-identified "bi-sexual" males. More additional pathologies than 1 and 2 combined. Interestingly, and perhaps addressing your friend's point, self-identified "bi-sexual" males have about 2x the number of homosexual encounters per year than self-identified "gay" males. And a whopping 5x that of self-identified "lesbians".

The European said...

To BSH ADMIN:
Totes not! But you keep telling yourself that...

AP said...

Let him have his day in the sun. Being gay chicken champion is pretty much the only thing he has going for him anyways....aside from his hot wife!

A guy can totally be bisexual. I am surprised someone would even suggest that if a guy participates in a sexual act with another guy one time that he is forever a homosexual.