Thursday, May 28, 2009

I am an American aquarium drinker, I assassin down the avenue

Me: I can't believe you're going to be a teenager within a week.

Togers: I know.

Me: You realize I have to kill you within the next few days, right? I can't be having teenagers.

Togers: Um, you've already got one: Tortellini.

Me: I know. I'm working on that too.

Togers: ???

Me: I've hired a hitman.

Togers: Well he must not be a very good one considering that she just turned fifteen.

Me: I know. He's not. I'm thinking of asking for my deposit back.

11 comments:

Heff said...

I have a 14 year old to kill, myself.

BSH ADMIN said...

Hey- I'll take care of it. Your family is too fucking cute to go on living.

Lightning Strikes said...

Yeah I'd definitely ask for my deposit back...he's not doing his end of the bargain ;)

Inklings said...

Her mother told me for years that she was giving her to me when she was 13, so what was with that? No one has left her here yet....

kmwthay said...

deep sigh. I love that song. Now I am going to have it stuck in my head. It's such a shame to lose Jay Bennett so soon.

Don't kill your teenagers. Teens keep you young. Oh wait - you are still pretty young.

2 Dollar Productions said...

Just better hope he's not recording these conversations for evidence or blackmail money. Ha.

Native Minnow said...

Heff, maybe we could come to some sort of mutual arrangement ;-)

BSH, I'll let you handle the others.

Lightning-Strikes, it's not like I can turn him in for theft. Ha!

Inside Stories, you've already done your time.

Kmwthay, I didn't even know Jay Bennett had passed away until you left that comment. Sad!

$2, I don't think he needs to record them, since, you know, I've released them on the internets.

Boxer said...

Stop hiring people from Craigslist.

and I don't believe those are your children, despite the fact that they look like you and stuff.

Amber said...

i love the conversations you have with your kids!

Sour Cream said...

D:

mindy said...

Whoa, TWO teenagers. You ARE old. ;o)