Friend: So what's the deal with you and that Asian girl?
Me: What are you talking about?
Friend: I've seen the flirting. It seems to be going both ways.
Me: Nah. I don't make enough money to keep that girl happy.
Friend: Do you think she's a gold digger?
Me: I guarantee it.
Friend: How do you know that?
Me: She works as an image consultant.
Friend: I don't even know what that is.
Me: I didn't either, until I asked her. It's basically someone who helps rich people pick out expensive gifts for their wives or girlfriends.
Friend: So like a personal shopper?
Me: I guess. But expensive stuff. She told me she helps guys pick out diamond necklaces, or $4000 evening gowns. Stuff like that.
Friend: That's crazy.
Me: I told her that if there were men willing to spend that much on their women, that surely there would be women out there who are willing to spend that kind of money on their men, and that I needed to find one of those women.
Friend: What did she say to that?
Me: She said, "You're going to need to clean it up." I asked, "Clean what up?" She said, "All of it!"
Friend: You're right. You can't afford her.
Me: I told you!