Sunday, June 28, 2009

You're a superstar at the gay bar

Last night one of my gay friends texted me:

Him: Did you get it figured out babe?

Me: Figure what out? Are you drunk texting me again*?

Him: Ha ha. OMG [Minnow] yes.

Me: Thought so.

Him: Maybe I should call you babe more often. What do you think?

Me: Whatever floats your boat. At least someone would be calling me that.

Him: I've been calling you that in my dreams for a while. You should hook a brother up.

Me: Well you know right now I'm about to take some toenail polish** off. I'm halfway there.

Him: Well, if you need a bj you know who to call.

Me: Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.


A few minutes later I got a text from another friend:

Him: Is something going on between you and [Gay Friend]?

Me: Just sexting.

Him: Ha. I'm in the car with him.

Me: I figured. I might have him all hot and ready for you.

Him: Thanks. Hopefully he rides bareback tonight.

Me: I heard he always does.

Him: He tricked me then.

*I don't know who my number is next to in his phone, but this is the third or fourth time he's texted me by mistake, and it's always regarding something about which I have no clue.

**They put on some kind of clear coat when my friend convinced me to go get a pedicure with her the other day. The shiny toenails have been driving me crazy ever since, but I just now got around to purchasing stuff to remove it with.


Sour Cream said...

Maybe you should just turn gay.

Obviously you'd have better luck.

Boxer said...


I heart you for this. Happy Gay Pride Day, big boy.

steph said...

ha! i love it!

Romany Angel said...

I quite often get text messages that are clearly meant for someone else but none of them have ever included an offer of a bj?!?!? So what have you got that I haven't? Oh don't worry....I just figured it out.

Amber said...

that's funny that they put clear polish on your toenails! your gay sexting leaves disturbing images in my mind LOL

TROLL Y2K said...

Dude, at this point, you'd have to do a CONVENT FULL OF SISTERS to prove you're not gay.

2 Dollar Productions said...

Minnow - you're about the love, straight/gay, who cares, eh? Seriously, the pedicure was good without the polish, right? I hate cutting my toenails & have always threatened to get a pedicure to avoid it, but so far, no dice.

Native Minnow said...

Sour Cream, even that's doubtful.

Boxer & Steph, I'm glad you heart me/it ;-)

Romany Angel, Well, for starters I've got a . . .

Amber, it's all in good fun, not to be taken (or imagined) literally.

Troll, do you happen to have one handy?

$2, I have to admit, the pedicure was nice. Just pass on the clear coat. I just had them apply it because the girl I was with dared me to.