Friend: Come on, [Husband] and I are ready. Let's go.
Me: I'm not ready to go yet.
Friend: Alright, I see you checking out that girl's cleavage, Dr. Douche.
Me: I'm Dr. Do Whatever I Want.
Friend: So why don't you go over there and talk to her?
Me: Yeah, that's not happening.
Friend: Well, until you do that, you're Dr. Douche.