Girl 1: I knew a lot of girls in school that were skanks but claimed to be virgins. How can you still call yourself a virgin if you've done everything else?
Me: That all depends on what your definition of sex is. My doppelganger has argued that oral doesn't count. Does it?
Girl 1: Of course it counts.
Girl 2: I agree with her. After all, if I were to shove a cookie* in your mouth that you didn't want, then I technically raped you.
Me: Well, that would assume there'd be a cookie in this world that I wouldn't want in my mouth.
Guy: True. You can't rape the willing.
* In this case the cookie is not a metaphor.