On my way to Vegas last weekend I stopped for gas and saw a bumper sticker that I couldn't NOT buy right then and there. It said: I ♥ BEAVER.
I called my sister afterward and told her what I'd found. She requested that I go back right then and buy ten more. I was already getting back on the freeway, so I told her I'd stop again and buy her some on my way home. I did. But I only gave her five. The other five I sent to friends who would display it proudly.
One of my friends received it today at work. He texted me and said he'd buy me something if I displayed it on my car right next to my parking sticker. Presumably so the ultra-conservative university parking enforcement would see it every time they checked.
I texted him back and said they don't even issue parking permits anymore. They just scan license plates now, so I put it on my refrigerator instead.
Our text conversation continued:
Him: So you like your beaver on the fridge?
Me: I like it anywhere I can get it.
Him: So you're easy.
Me: And cheap. Spread the word. Particularly to any hot chicks.
Him: Being easy rarely works for hot chicks.
Him: Get ready for ugly chicks!
Damn! He's right. Lower standards, here I come.