I am not your broom

I overheard a conversation about the Olympics yesterday.

Woman: Of all the sports, why is curling divided into men's and women's? Doesn't that seem like one they could have be co-ed? There's no advantage to being big and strong.

Man: Well, they use those brooms to sweep the ice, don't they?

Woman: Yeah, but I don't think strength gives men much advantage there.

Man: No, the advantage goes the other way because women have so much more experience using a broom. That's all.

You're the firestarter, twisted firestarter

A friend came over to watch the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics last night. He picked up some Thai food on the way over. (We thought it might be more appropriate to get Chinese take out, but couldn't think of a good Chinese restaurant near my house.) My friend is vegan, so I told him just to get veggie or tofu dishes and if Togers didn't like it he could heat something else up. Of course, I didn't tell Togers he was eating tofu because I didn't want to give him any reason not to try it. He liked it. I told him that automatically made him a hippy. It's a slippery slope.

When I told Togers why we got tofu, and asked him if he knew what it meant to be vegan, he said he didn't. So, I explained it to him: Being vegan means you're not allowed to eat anything that doesn't have chopped up babies in it.


Later, during the parade of athletes, my friend and I had this brief exchange:

Friend: Holy crap! How many athletes did Brazil send?
Me: Looks like there's a Brazillion* of them.


As the parade continued, we began to speculate about the lighting of the torch.

Friend: How do you think they'll light it this time?
Me: Well, they're going to try to top the archer shooting a flaming arrow to light it. My guess is that they'll set a Tibetan monk on fire and throw him into the cauldron.

Togers laughed hard. A little too hard. I might be raising a homicidal maniac. I have no idea where he gets it.






*That joke never gets old.