She's got hands like a mans with hair on the back, she'll crush you in her embrace

I have a friend who is preparing to take his comprehensive exam. He's sworn off alcohol from now until he takes them so that he can maximize productivity, even on weekends. He will, however, still come hang out with us because he's got about a month between now and then and outright panic hasn't set in yet. Last night we were hanging out, but the place we were at was pretty dead so there was talk about going elsewhere.

Friend 1: Let's get out of here.
Friend 2: Ok, but where should we go?
Friend 1: I don't know. Anywhere but here. This place is dead.
Friend 2: Want to go to the trannie bar?
Friend 1: I don't know. Do they serve O'Doul's there?
Friend 3: Wait. He wants to go to a trannie bar, and your biggest concern is whether or not they have O'Doul's? I think there are larger issues at stake.

I guess some people just have different priorities than others.