Every once in a while, I’ll watch a movie and feel as if a part of the script has been taken from a segment of my life. Incidentally, these often become some of my favorite movies. Some of the more recent ones include The Royal Tenenbaums, Garden State, Closer, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you haven’t seen these movies yet, I highly recommend them (with the exception of Closer. If you’ve ever been cheated on it will probably bring out feelings that you’d rather forget).
I just finished watching We Don’t Live Here Anymore for the fifth time. I saw it for the first time at the Sundance Film Festival a few years ago and immediately fell in love with it. This one is along the same lines as Closer, in that it is also not an easy one to watch if you’ve been cheated on, but that is probably why it gripped me the way it did. I just wish that I could have dealt with situations in my life with some of the same attitudes as the characters in this movie. Of course, in real life you only get one take.
I find myself enamored with trying to determine what causes a relationship to fall apart. I’m not sure exactly why, because it’s not like I recognize when it’s happening in one of mine. Maybe I’m just hoping to catch some of these things so I don’t make those mistakes in my next one. Although sometimes if feels futile, since there are a million different things that can cause the deterioration of a good relationship.
The thing that scares me is that while I despise infidelity (just have the guts to leave if you’re no longer in love), I find myself sympathizing with some of the jerks in these movies, and I’m not sure what that says about me. I’m just glad that I recognize this because maybe that means there’s hope for me to fix it. Here’s hoping that this introspection eventually pays off.
7 comments:
and yes, I know that all this relationship talk has me sounding like a whiny little bitch lately - but hey, it's what's on my mind
No, you don't sound like a whiney little bitch...I saw Closer, it was a double-edge-sword as Natalie Portman looks like the other woman. I actually thought they did a very good job on the emotions involved. The reason you feel so sorry for some of these jerks is that in the movies infidelity always occurs in really bad relationships or when one of the spouses finds his/her "soulmate", so you route for them to succeed...life on the other hand is much different.
Oh, and Eternal Sunshine is an awesome movie! If you are in for a really good "cheater" movie go for Diary of a Mad Black Woman or The Upside of Anger.
Yeah, I saw the Upside of Anger. That was a great movie as well. I liked how it ended, but it made me feel bad for the woman when she found out the truth.
On another note, it's been pointed out to me that parts of my life more closely resemble an episode of Jerry Springer than these movies.
After watching BrokeBack mountain, I've been thinking a alot about how our relationships sometimes constrain us. Ennis's wife wasn't interested in him being happy, she was interested in him being what she wanted him to be. I feel that this is why we cheer for the cheater in cheater movies. She (or he) is often in a relationship with someone who traps her into being something that she is not, and the new relationship frees her in someway. I think we all want someone who helps us become ourselves as opposed to someone who tailors us into their picture of the perfect partner.
Of course, on the flip side of that, you can't say that Ennis was very interested in making his wife happy either. He was deceiving everyone, including himself. In the movies that kind of behavior is acceptable, even considered romantic. In real life, that kind of behavior is selfish.
I agree minnow. I actually didn't find Ennis's behavior okay in the movie--he was a complete asshole to his wife & at times to Jack too. People in Ennis's life held him back from happiness perhaps, but in the end he was the only one standing in his way of having a good life.
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