Thursday, April 13, 2006

I don't wanna know me better

The other night I was talking to a girl who I used to talk to quite a bit, but kind of lost touch with over the past couple of months. At one point she thought I was mad at her, and got off the phone shortly after. I called her back a little while later to make sure she knew that I wasn't mad. During the second conversation she told me that part of the reason why she hadn't been calling me lately was because the last few times we talked I sounded irritated. When I asked for an example she didn't give me one, but I can't remember ever being irritated with her.

A few months ago I was talking to a different friend of mine and she was making fun of me, and cracked some joke regarding a piece of paper she was holding. I laughed, and leaned over to look at the paper, but she thought I was pissed and said that I actually lunged at her. I told her that was ridiculous, but I don't think I really convinced her of that.

Now, I happen to know myself pretty well. In fact, I would argue that I know myself better than anybody else (after all, I have spent the last 30 years with myself). I think that I'm a fairly laid back person, and it really takes a lot to upset me (unless I don't like you). In fact, I can honestly say that there are only about 5 or 6 people in Vegas who have seen me pissed and I've lived here for nearly four years (and most of those times were when I was dealing with my ex-wife during our divorce).

Maybe I strike an imposing figure (doubtful), or maybe I just come across as a jerk even when I'm not being one (likely), but I don't understand why people misinterpret my emotions at times. I think it usually happens when there's something that would upset someone else, but doesn't upset me. Still, I don't like being misinterpreted.

The irony is that when I was married my wife would do the same thing. She'd tell me to stop getting mad, even though I wasn't, but the accusation would actually make me mad and we'd end up in a fight. Of course, she admitted later that it was usually because she was trying to manipulate me to get her way.

Yup. I think I'm better off single.

5 comments:

flieswithoutwings said...

This probably has a lot to do with the time you were in that big explosion and your eyebrows were cooked off and when you drew new eyebrows on your face you accidentally drew on "angry" eyebrows (Just like Seinfeld's uncle). I suggest drawing yourself some new eyebrows that are higher in the center of your face than at the outer edges. Then people will say you always appear to be a thoughtful listener.

mindy said...

Great idea, flieswithoutwings!!

Are these people quite a bit shorter than you? Things look different at that angle. Maybe you need taller friends. Oh wait, I guess that doesn't explain the phone friend. Hmmmm.. maybe sound travels differently down there.

PsychDoctor said...

Maybe your definition of anger is punching holes in walls, or throwing babies off of bridges when they won't stop crying...and irritation to you is screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to quit bothering you...You probably were irritated and just didn't know it because you have set the bar so high... :)

Just kidding, it sounds like both of those friends are Axis II...and have issues...just like you ex... :) You are definitely better off single than married to someone with an Axis II disorder.

I think I would put more stock into your 30-80 other friends who have never misinterpreted your emotions, than the two ultra-sensitive ones who did.

Lauren said...

You? Imposing? AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

...I'm just kidding.

Or am I? ;)

I don't think I've ever seen you mad. At all. I've seen you slightly frustrated, but not mad.

Although, there have been reports from a while back that have claimed that you can be quite the jerk...

slimysculpin said...

Tell that to the poor clerk at McD's who invoked your mighty rage.