Monday, February 26, 2007

He has a mistress she's Puerto Rican and I heard she has a wooden leg

In addition to the comments on the previous two posts, I've received emails and text messages from some of you. Two people converged on the theme from the Brady Bunch, as I received that in a text message and in one of the comments here.

I thought I'd post the others for the rest of you to see as well.

Text Messages
  • She's a hotty . . . when's the wedding date?
  • Lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
  • I never will forget the way you looked tonight

Email

"Oh my gosh. I HAVE LOVE HANDLES. I WOULD NEVER, EVER WEAR A BIKINI WITH A JACKET WITH MY LOVE HANDLES FALLING OUT...
I thought that you were just being mean.
You need to move, far, far away...
She has your address
."

I would just like to say thank you for your all your love and support during this difficult time in my life. I think I may have PTSD.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

so funny.

almost cried.

flieswithoutwings said...

When you mentioned she had 3 kids the Brady Bunch theme rushed into my head as well. I just didn't say anything.

She doesn't look like she's your type but you could at least ask her to pay your bills and buy you stuff based on the POSSIBILITY that maybe that would make you love her.

Native Minnow said...

Another text suggesting how I should respond:

Tell her you have decided to become a celibate professor as you used to be a sexaholic and it just interferes with your studies! Or . . . send it back with pics and mark no longer at this address moved to Yemen . . . You know, like Chandler tells Janice on Friends

Anonymous said...

i agree with flieswithoutwings... I think you definitely have the possibility of a sugar mama in your future if you play your cards right and dangle the possibiity of sex. She looks like one of those girls who would belive the line "I would be more in the mood if you bought me one of those flat screen 50 inch tvs..."

Native Minnow said...

One flaw with the sugar mama plan - a sugar mama must have money. Going by the fact that she is my brother's neighbor (which may have been omitted from the story), I'm guessing that's not the case with this woman.

Anonymous said...

LOL

So are you going to write about your date and whether or not you got lucky?

Ummm... would it be called getting lucky with this one?

j/k

deputymomof6 said...

My question is..... I am sure that she cannot afford to come and see you (and doesn't have an invitation) and you aren't going to go and see her, so what was she thinking was going to happen? I think you don't have to worry about her stalking you, at least.

Well, I guess if she looked like Sienna Miller, you might have made the trip. However, Sienna definately did not pop into my head when I saw the photos. I suggest your burn them to prevent any further psychological damage, or possible physical damage to your eyes.