I drove a tank, held a general's rank when the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank

I had a pretty eventful weekend. For one thing, I became German on Saturday. It was a lot easier to do than you'd think it would be. Here's how it all transpired:

A friend of a friend hosted a horseshoe tournament. Registration was required, and 22 teams signed up, with mine being the last of the bunch. I had tentative plans to go to San Diego for the weekend instead, but that fell through a few days beforehand, so I asked a friend if she'd play horseshoes with me. Despite it being such a big commitment, she said yes, and asked me if I could take care of registration, which included coming up with a team name.

Since I was given sole name choosing authority, I wanted something that she wouldn't normally agree to (I end sentences with prepositions. So what?). Also, since she's German, I wanted to go with a German name. I originally wanted to call ourselves Team Sauerkraut , but I didn't know how to spell it, so I opted for one of the only other German words I know: Affentittengeil (literal translation = ape tit groovy).

My dastardly plan worked splendidly because all day long people kept coming up to us and asking what our team name meant. Every time they did I'd turn to her and say, "Hey, tell them what our team name means." Then she'd have to explain what the word meant, but also that nobody in Germany ever uses it.

For the tournament, every time a new game was beginning the host would get on a microphone and call out the two teams that would be competing. Since he didn't know how to pronounce our team name, he simply called us "the Germans." By the end of the day, people would come up to me and ask what part of Germany I was from. I never thought gaining citizenship would be so easy.

Now that I'm German, I'm considering running for public office. Don't worry though, no matter how popular I become, or how powerful I get, I'll refuse to gas any major ethnic groups.