Hate to see you lyin' there in your Superman skivvies. Lyin' on the floor, lyin' on the floor I've come undone.

The other day I ran into a friend as I was walking across campus. She was on her way to the mall to pick up something to wear to a pajama party that her employer is throwing this Saturday. All proceeds are going to help the victims of the California wildfires. Obviously, she works there, so she has to go, but I've been thinking about going too. The problem is, I generally don't wear pajamas, so I'd need to buy some first. With this in mind, and a knowledge of my general aversion to doing anything productive during the work day, she was able to convince me to head to the mall with her by telling me she had to be back in an hour.

I thought we were just going to make a quick trip through a department store or two, but that's because I'm a guy, and I've forgotten how women shop. We walked through Dillard's and didn't even look for the pajama section in ladies' wear.

Me: We just walked through the entire store. Didn't you want to stop and look here?
Her: Eh. If I can't find anything anywhere else we can stop here on the way back.
Me: Ok.

We walked a little way through the mall and then she said, "Here we are." Then she walked into Frederick's of Hollywood. She looked around for a while and found a few things that she liked, but then couldn't settle on a color, mainly because she didn't know what shoes she had that she could wear with it. So, we left the store without buying anything.

We walked a little further and then she kind of pushed me into a Victoria's Secret store.

Her: I know, it's a rough day. I can hear it now. "What did you do today?" "Oh, it was terrible. I had to go to Frederick's of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret with a girl."

That's a fair point.

Anyway, there really wasn't much there. Or should I say, there wasn't much there that she would actually wear. There was a lot of stuff that looked like something a ten year old girl would wear. It was pretty creepy. There were a few things that looked like what they had in the first store, but there was still the issue of footwear. So, we set off to find some.

We went to another department store and found some slippers that matched a silk robe they had at Frederick's, and they had hard soles, so she figured they'd match and be practical enough for work. She bought those and we went back to Frederick's for the silk robe.

There was still time before she had to be back, so as we walked back through Dillard's on the way to the car she asked if I wanted to go look for something too.

Me: Sure, why not?

Then we walked through the store looking for the men's pajamas. We walked for a little while and didn't see any, so I stopped and asked a salesperson where I could find some.

Her (pointing at a rack directly behind me): Um. They're right there.

I'm very observant.

The selection was very slim. I looked over several racks and didn't find anything that even looked comfortable, let alone in the colors or patterns I'd consider buying. Then my friend pointed at the back wall.

Her: Oh, right there. I see the perfect thing for you.
Me: Where?
Her (pointing): The tuxedo one.
Me: I don't see it.
Her: Oh, you will.

(Then I saw it)

Her: I'd pay good money to see you wear that.
Me: Yeah, well you'd be getting ripped off.

I'm pretty sure the Hungarian would have liked to see me wear that too.