I am an arrogant bastard*. I tend to think of myself as smarter than most people. While there are those who would argue that this is hardly true, it's true in my mind, and that's all that matters to me. As is the case with most arrogant bastards, I have a bunch of indicators that allow me to know how much smarter I am than everyone else. Some of these are obvious, some less so. The list of indicators is long, and I won't go into all of them here, but I thought I'd share some of the most obvious ones.
I am smarter than you . . .
. . . if you spell the word definitely wrong (e.g., definately).
. . . if you misuse words in your writing (e.g., waste instead of waist).
. . . if you think to, too and two are interchangeable (same thing goes for there, their and they're).
. . . if you write that you "must of" done something wrong (instead of must have).
. . . if you use the following substitutions in your emails**: da instead of the, 2 instead of to, u instead of you, etc.
. . . if you say "liberry"*** instead of library.
Maybe I should have been an English teacher.
Also, whether it's fair or not, I apply a double standard****. I am much more likely to let some of these slide if you're someone that I like as opposed to someone I don't, or if you're a friend or casual acquaintance instead of someone I'm in a relationship with. I haven't kept it a secret that I'm a shallow person. A woman has to be attractive to pique my interest, but believe it or not, good looks alone aren't enough to keep me interested. That's where sense of humor and intellect come in.
*Anyone who doesn't believe me should go talk to my ex-wife. She'll tell you the same.
**It's one thing to do it in text messages, and another if you do it in emails. If you use them in text messages I'll only be mildly annoyed, but can understand if you think it saves you that much effort (even though it doesn't).
***See?
****Especially if I'm the one that makes the mistake, in which case I'm still smarter than you.
14 comments:
AMEN!!! I hate the to/too and their/they're thing the most. Obviously, these people did not pay attention in English class.
Oh, and I hate it when people say "towards." That word does not exist, it is just "toward" and nothing more. Just shows their intelligence level as way too low for my taste. Inmate talk, I call it.
i am SO with you on that list! my kids in my class can tell you that they get five points off for every common grammar mistake they make, including, but certainly not limited to: to, too, and two and definitely, and a lot. that one is killer.
i sort-of let those things slide if i know someone, but i THINK it in my head when i read an email with incorrect grammar or syntax. i was a creative writing major in undergrad and a teacher now: once a nerd, always a nerd.
I give permission to get corrected each and every time I write something like that (I mean, I have the excuse that English was my second language... but still)... or say something totally incorrect (like "Towards," I say that from time to time).
Word that makes me want to punch a whole (did that on purpose) through a wall? "Supposably." It drives me insane.
(P.S. yesterday I saw this picture of a sardine biting his own tail and it made me think of that picture on your blog)
DeputyMom, I forgot about 'towards' but like I said, the list is long.
Steph, I should penalize my students more for stuff like that. I would if they were writing term papers, but for now they just get graded on whether they answered the question properly, grammar and spelling aside.
Anomalie, I figured you'd have gone more extreme than that: Word that makes me want too punch a whole threw a wall.
Wow, that ares some tough thangs to live up two ...-- Minnow is it ok if I just concede you are smarter then me ? then its like I have a free pass to make mistakes, and not have the hater in you come out?
I just have to say that I agree with you on this!! I can't stand getting texts with Da, 2 or u instead of the correct words...it doesn't take that much longer to spell it out!!
Plus the they're/ their/ there and all that drives me CRAZY!!!
Back to the title of the blog---I don't think so!!!
Bill, sure thing.
Lightning Strikes, it's not as bad in texts as it is in emails.
Dee Ice Hole, I do.
Looks like I gotsta make sum changes to keep up--or maybe not. Anyways, I could care less....
I cannot believe the waste versus waist word choice. That seems too ridiculous to me.
I have my own personal peeve about using there and their, although I do think that's somewhat trickier than waist.
And texting leads to the worst form of communication available - always.
My big pet peeve is when people say "refer back" ... can I also say "refer forward"???
And that scene from Scrubs? I love that show and that particular riddle.
How about the word "unthaw"...I mean, does that word even exist. To unthaw something means to freeze it, right? So why not just say freeze or thaw? I mention this because I heard it on the radio this morning. :)
and like I blogged about in my blog, many LCSWs and Psychologists write things like "he has been hospitalized twice for heroine overdoses." I always laugh, because if you were overdosing on heroines, then life would be pretty damn good... :)
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