Several more instances where I probably wasn't as professional as I could have been while teaching my students. Today's lab was the fetal pig dissection.
Me (talking to the entire class): Now, when you cut down through the pelvic girdle on the male, you need to be careful because it's really easy to cut through this part and sever the penis. Every guy in here just cringed when I said that, and if you didn't, you should have.
---------------------------------------------
Female Student: Can you show me where this pig's uterus is?
Me: Sure, but you haven't cut deep enough. Here, let me see that scalpel. You have to cut through the pelvic girdle like this. Oops. I think I just cut into the vagina.
Female Student: You're never going to be able to keep a girlfriend if you're doing that all the time.
Me: Unless she's into that sort of thing.
---------------------------------------------
Female Student: So we're having trouble finding our pig's boy parts.
Me: That's because you've completely mangled them. Here, let me see if I can salvage any of that.
Me (Later): Well, here's the testicle, but it's no longer attached so I'm going to go ahead and put it over here. Same goes for the other one.
Female Student: Gross.
Me: Hey, at least now you got to say that you spent the day ripping some balls off.
Female Student: Yeah, I can just see it: "Hey Honey, guess what I did today . . ."
---------------------------------------------
My Assistant: Easy there. You're really going to town on that thing, but remember, you don't want to ruin any of the stuff you're going to be looking at next time.
Me: She's just so excited to finally be cutting into something substantial.
Female Student: This is cool, but I really want to cut open a human.
Me: Don't look at me. I think you'll find it works best to stick to the members of society that aren't easily missed.
My Assistant (to her): Usually prostitutes and homeless people work best for that.
My Assistant (to me): You know what I'm talking about.
Me: You weren't supposed to tell anybody about my Jack the Ripper side.
---------------------------------------------
Male Student: So where is the vagina on this thing?
Me: It's right here, although you're probably having a hard time seeing it because of all the juice down in there.
Male Student: Are you saying my pig has a juicy vagina?
Me: . . .
6 comments:
Always a classic lab. I'm glad you get to teach this twice a year, students are funny.
One more that I forgot to list:
What's that clear sac surrounding the testis?
I'm not sure what it's called, but you don't have to know it.
It's not the scrotum?
No, the scrotum is much thicker, and is back here.
Is it the peritoneum?
No, that's further up. Remember the shiny stuff I told you about?
Doesn't matter. I'm calling it the scrotineum.'
Tell you what, if you write that on the quiz next week, I'll probably be laughing so hard I'll go ahead and give you a point, even though you're wrong.
In that case, I'm going to write scrotineum down ten times. Easy A.
Brilliant! The kid that made up Scrotineum gets an A for the semester!
I am so glad that I am not you...
And I am so glad I am not in your class.
Sick
Again, I'm seriously worried about you.
And your students.
ha! i want to take your class!!
Post a Comment