Saturday, April 12, 2008

I met my wife at a party where I drank too much, my son is married and tells me we don't talk enough

I was talking to my ex-wife the other day, and she told me they'd been teasing Mr. M. all day about his new girlfriend. His pre-school teacher had the kids in the class pair up and hold hands while they did one of their activities. Upon hearing that, I told my ex to put him on the phone.


Me: [Mr. M.], do you have a girlfriend?

Mr. M.: Her not my girlfriend. Her my friend.

Me: Did you hold her hand?

Mr. M.: Yeah.

Me: Then you're married.

Mr. M.: No. We're not.

Me: Yes you are. It's a Utah state law that if you hold a girl's hand you're married to her.

Mr. M.: That's not true.

Me: Yes it is, and you're a real jerk for not inviting me to your wedding.

9 comments:

Michele said...

Ha. My stepchildren live in Utah, they're Mormon. I think this is why my now 19 year S.D just delived a baby yesterday, she held some boys hand.

Just shoot me, I'm 38 and a grandma.

Manuel said...

hehehehehee...bad dad.......lanegan? Quality...

mindy said...

you're a stinker! And you need to post a picture of Mr. M when you blog about him. He's just too stinkin' cute.

Jenny said...

I hope she's rich.

Simon said...

Its fun to mess with young minds. (I came over from JetPass's blog... nice to meet you).

2 Dollar Productions said...

This finally explains a lot about the wedding laws in Utah. I suppose the next conversation w/ Mr. M will revolve around alimony juice boxes.

Native Minnow said...

Jet Pass, odds are I'll be a young grandparent too. Although, serves me right for becoming a young parent ;-)

Manuel, if you like Mark Lanegan you may also be interested in his other projects: Bubblegum and The Gutter Twins. (If you haven't heard them already).

Mindy, if it's any consolation, that was an old picture of him on my "Babies Suck" t-shirt design.

Boxer, I hope so too.

Simon, welcome!

$2, hopefully he signed a pre-nup and will keep his juice boxes in the end.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Juice box alimony rules ! -- now thats a t-shirt.

Karen said...

Poor little guy is probably trying to figure out at this very moment how he can get out of this impulsive marriage. Give him Britney's number and she can tell him how it's done.