Tuesday, May 27, 2008

There is blood in all the things I say

Me: I just sent two packages today. One is for all the kids, and one is Togers' birthday present. Obviously he has to wait until his birthday to open that, but they can open the other one as soon as it gets there.

My Kids' Step-Dad: Of course we'll make him wait to open the one, but thanks for the heads up. We'll watch for them.

Me: Cool. Thanks.

My Kids' Step-Dad: I'm picking Togers up from school right now, so I'll let him know.

Me: Or you could just run over him.

My Kids' Step-Dad: Well, I would, but I'm parked.

Me: Wait, nevermind. Funeral costs would probably be pretty high and I don't want to have to pay for that.

My Kids' Step-Dad (handing off the phone): Did you hear that Togers? High funeral costs are the only thing that's keeping you alive right now.

Togers: That, and [Step-Dad]'s too scared to run over me.

8 comments:

Karen said...

I always laugh at your sense of humour while also finding it strangely disturbing at the same time.

Dee Ice Hole said...

Togers has your sense of humor too---that is a scary thing!!!!

Inklings said...

Me too, Gypsy.

Mr. DNA said...

So, do you and the Step-Dad hang out and throw back a few when you're in town? Because if TV and movies have taught me anything, it's that ex-husbands and new husbands love hanging out. One more question; Are you Bruce to his Ashton, or is it the other way around?

Bill From Gainesville said...

I am in awe, I mean I will talk with my wife's boyfriends when I have to, in the future (she has one now, I just havent had to talk with him yet) and if she ever gets re-married I guess I will also talk with that guy when required, but I dont think I could ever have a nice, funny conversation with any dude that is currently banging my wife, and getting the opportunity to hang out with MY kids more then me? just the thought of that right now is like fingernails on a chalkboard.
-
Minnow, you are an evolved dude

Native Minnow said...

Gypsy, Ice Hole and Inside Stories, I disturb myself sometimes too, but this is not one of those times.

Mr DNA, I've hung out with him and my ex a few times. I've even stayed at their house for several days at a time. I would say I'm the Bruce to his Ashton, but, he's older than me, so maybe it is the other way around. I'm not entirely sure. I may have just blown a fuse thinking about it.

Bill, after the string of losers my ex dated after she and I split up, I'm just glad she ended up with a decent guy. He loves my kids, treats them like his own, and does all the things that I can't do for them because I'm not right there. For that, I'm grateful, not jealous. And I don't get jealous at all about the fact that he's with her either. As a matter of fact, she wasn't easy for me to live with (obviously), so if he's willing and able to handle it, more power to him.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Minnow I am glad I have your blog on my favorites. I know you have done what I am doing, and for whatever it is worth I get strength out of knowing you, except I realize I dont know you, I just come to your blog almost every day. I am trying to get there but its just not that easy, I believe it will happen one day though - I dont know much about my wifes current boyfriend other then he has Hippy hair, a mustache and when my wife went on an overnight field trip with my daughter this guy stayed at her apartment and took care of my son. It made me feel so small, I dont blame the guy or hate on him, but deep down I am just looking for an opening to do so. Plus, for all the bullshit my wife and I went through she was awesome at sex and I resent that the guy is hitting it and I am not, even though I am part of the decision process that has deprived me of that joy that I used to have in life. And again, I dont even blame him for that, its just fucking hard....and it doesnt matter that I have been with other women even before she was with this guy....sorry to divulge so much about my bullshit in your comment section.

Native Minnow said...

Bill, don't be sorry. I completely understand where you're coming from. Almost exactly from what it sounds like. It took me a long time to get over my ex, even though I knew splitting up was the right thing for us to do. I've been where you're at, and believe me, it gets better. It just takes time.