Wednesday, September 10, 2008

May be too humble to wanna speak, may have a blood soaked bird in its teeth

[Note, in order to fully understand this post, you should first listen to the following portion of a Dave Attell stand-up routine. It's kind of long, and while I recommend you listen to all of it (after all, he's a funny man), skipping to the eight and a half minute mark gets you to the relevant joke.]



A few weeks ago at the gym

Friend: If a guy just walked by me in the locker room totally naked, then a few minutes later passed by again with his penis flapping around, does that mean I needed to get out of there?

Me: Absolutely. Wait, was he running?

Friend: No. The first time he passed me he was walking, but the second time he was kind of doing this jog/shuffle thing. But his penis was definitely flapping. Did that mean something bad was coming from that direction?

Me: Not if he wasn't running full speed. In that case you just need to be wary, and pay attention to your surroundings. If he's running full speed? That's when you need to worry. If/when that happens, don't even grab anything, except your car keys if they're handy, just get out of there.

4 comments:

Amber said...

(***Warning - this comment is rated PG-15**) makes me wonder do guys need jogging ball-bras? and on a side note - the other day we were driving past a high school where there were a bunch of teenage boys running for track in nothing but those tiny little wind shorts and kaleb tried to accuse me of pedophilia but i explained that it just reminded me of juno when she says that when guys run all she thinks about is how their junk is bouncing around and it grosses her out -

Bunny Hugger said...

oh. I thought thats what guys did in the locker room. Like how girls always have pillow fights in skimpy pajamas at slumber parties... wait, thats not what you guys do???

deputymomof6 said...

Since it is different for guys... I would think I would run out just because I NOTICED that his penis was flapping. However, if you are OK with that, go ahead and stay. You can even take an admiring glance so long as you don't get caught. If it is appropriate, bow down and worship the flapper.

And, I agree about the running thing.. if he is running, run out quick!!!

Lillie said...

It's totally the same in the women's locker room-- except instead of dicks, we get 80 year old titties flapping by. VOM to the 100th degree.