Thursday night. Last lab of the day. Most of the students are gone, but the diligent ones are making sure they've seen everything. As they're nearing the end of it, one group starts talking about going out for drinks afterward since apparently nobody has classes on Friday anymore.
Student 1: [Minnow] do you want to come out with us tonight?
Student 1: Why?
Me: For one, you're my students. But even if you weren't, I need to get up early tomorrow so I'm going to go home and go to bed.
Student 2 (who earlier had been talking about how he'd been dumped by his girlfriend of five years: Are there going to be women where you're going tonight?
Student 3: Why are you asking that? You of all people should know that women are nothing but trouble anyway.
Student 2: That's true.
Student 4: I know. We really are trouble. I don't even know what you guys see in us.
Student 1: I know what we see in you.
Student 4: There is that.
Student 2: No, I don't need that. I can take care of that myself.
Me: Alrighty then. How about we change to a new subject?
Student 5 (pointing to her lab manual): Yes, let's change the subject. So, getting back to lab stuff, I was wondering if you could help me answer this question.
[The Question: Most ferns are monoecious, having antheridia and archegonia on the same gametophyte. How might a plant like this avoid self fertilization?]
Me: I thought we were going to change the subject.