Friday night I took Tortellini out with me and a few of my friends. We were walking on the Strip when a mini-van did a u-turn right next to us. The guy in the passenger seat had long brown hair and a beard.
Me: Did you see that? I think that was Jesus riding shotgun.
Friend 1: Jesus doesn't ride shotgun. Jesus is in the driver's seat.
Friend 2: Uh, I don't think so. I think God is in the driver's seat and Jesus is riding shotgun.
Me: Actually, I'd be willing to bet that both Jesus and God have mastered the whole teleportation thing.
Friend 1: I don't know about that. It didn't really help Him escape the whole crucifixion thing.
So when my friends and I die and spend the rest of eternity in Hell, at least you'll all know why.