Yesterday my roommate and I were getting ready to watch a movie, but decided that first we needed to go to the store to get some snacks. I settled on an ice cream sandwich and some Grape Vines. I handed him some money and told him just to pay for everything.
Cashier: Will that be everything for you?
Cashier: Who's getting the Grape Vines? Those things are delicious.
Me: We're going to fight over them.
Cashier (looking at me): I have faith in you.
Me (to my roommate): Did you hear that? She just called you a pussy.
Cashier (shocked): No, I didn't say that.
Me: Her words, dude. Not mine.
Cashier: . . .