Black chick, white guy

Last night at pub trivia:

Question: In the book Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, what was the name of the runaway slave who teams up with Huck on his voyage down the Mississippi River?

Friend 1: It's Nigger Jim*.

Me: I'm just going to put Jim.

Friend 1: I think you have to put down the whole name.

Friend 2: But I don't like that word.

Me: I don't either.

Friend 1: Just put it down so we don't lose a point.

Me: Fine.

Friend 3 (who is African American): I can't believe you wrote that. Racist.

Me: If I have sex with you later will that make up for it?

Friend 3: Sure.



Later she passed me a note: You ready to pop the cork on this bitch?








*Apparently this is the name used by many critics and has been perpetuated ever since, but never appears in the book itself. Thank you Wikipedia!

I used to love her, but I had to kill her, I knew I'd miss her, so I had to keep her, she's buried right in my back yard

Tonight I went to pub trivia with some friends. One of the questions asked which artist went on tour in 2004, played in 96 U. S. cities and became the highest grossing male artist. We had no idea. We just started naming artists that we thought might fit the bill, even if we didn't know they were on tour that year. I guessed Sting.

My friend said, "That's it! You got it."

I said, "I don't know. I was just throwing that out there. I don't really think it's him."

She replied, "I do. I'm 100% sure. If I'm wrong, you can murder me."

"How about if you're wrong you just give me a bj instead?"

"How about you can murder me, then have sex with my still warm corpse?"

"Deal!"

The answer was Prince.

When the guy announced that, I acted like I was going to choke her.

She said, "I'd like to recant and just blow you instead. I don't want to die."

I don't know. It seems to me that if you're willing to put the stakes that high, then you ought to be willing to pay the price if you are, in fact, wrong.

I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so

During this week's trivia contest, Trivia Guy asked a question about where a flag with a white Bauhinia blakeana flower on a red background would fly. The obvious answer is a flagpole, but we knew that wasn't what he was looking for, so we took a guess at what countries had recently become sovereign.

I'm not sure what our final answer was, but I think it was one of the 'new' eastern European countries.

We were wrong. It was Hong Kong.


Asian Girl on our Team(after hearing the answer): Oh. I saw that flag all over the place when I was there.

Me: Wait. You've seen that flag and we still missed the question?

Girl: I thought it was a red flower on a white background. Maybe I was getting it confused with Japan. Isn't their flag a red circle on a white background?

Me: Yeah.

Girl: What is that red circle supposed to be anyway?

Me: Um. The sun.

Girl: Really?

Me: Yeah. Because of the whole 'Land of the Rising Sun' thing.

Girl: What?

Me: Japan is known as the Land of the Rising Sun. You've never heard that before?

Girl: No.

Me: You are the worst Asian ever.

Girl: But . . .

Me (interrupting): Worst. Asian. Ever.