Thursday, November 30, 2006

Hey Pig Piggy Pig Pig Pig

I've come up with another plan to make myself filthy rich. While this idea probably won't generate as much income as the Tweaker-on-the-Go Meth Kit (described here, and seen here), it's bound to bring in more than I'm making right now. After all, with this idea I'm going to take the fashion world by storm. I have to admit that I shouldn't take full credit for this idea, since I'm basically just stealing it from one of the craziest guys I've ever worked with (crazy in a good way), but I'm totally keeping all the money to myself.

What is this grand idea you ask? I'm going to design a pig purse.

I mean, why not? They've done it with armadillos, bullfrogs, lizards, snakes and other animals. I don't see why pigs should be exempt.

So, here is the preliminary drawing. Done in MS Paint so obviously it's not as good as it would have been had I used my "skills of an artist" but good enough for now:


I'm especially pleased with the zipper that goes along the abdomen. Of course, that will come in many colors (gold, silver, black, etc.) and each purse will be unique because each will be made of an entirely different hollowed out (i.e. gutted) fetal pig. Some will be pink, others black, some white with black spots, or stripes. You name it, the possibilities are endless. Plus, since each one is so unique, we'll be able to charge more money for each one.

Here's a photo of the first prototype, modeled by my lovely assistant (it'll look much better with a zipper installed):

7 comments:

flieswithoutwings said...

Is the rubber glove included or do you have to get those from your doctor? Maybe the mouth could be a lipstick holder.

It looks good but I think I will stick with my kangaroo scrotum change purse.

PsychDoctor said...

for a second, I thought that was a real celebrity photo...then realized you must just have really attractive assistants in LV...

Lauren said...

Why didn't I get to do this while I was in your class?

Anonymous said...

the first thing you should do is send one to Paris Hilton and beg her to carry it. Once she is photographed with it you will be selling them as fast as those pink razrs.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe there is such a beautiful girl WILLING to touch that thing! I concur with Starlet, though...
Even though that's really disgusting, almost as disgusting as that photo of the dead pig face you posted a while ago...I laughed, but not out loud.

Native Minnow said...

Flieswithoutwings, I think you have to get the rubber glove from your doctor, but that shouldn't be a problem if you follow the '1 glove/5 minutes' rule. You'll have plenty to supply you for the life of the purse that way.

Lauren, you didn't get to do this because you never worked with me afterward like my lovely assistant did. Plus, I didn't have a blog then, so there ;-P

Starlet, I think if I offered Paris Hilton a portion of the proceeds she'd be down. If it happens I'll give you a finder's fee of sorts for the idea.

Lauren said...

Ha. It's okay, I cut you up. And I think my partner and I even severed your penis.

By the way, nice Homestar reference. :)