And by improve, I mean do more than just leer at her from across the room.
The problem for me is, what do you say to a complete stranger without sounding desparate, or coming across as some kind of a creep? **
Here are a few things that seem to work in songs, but probably wouldn't be effective in real life:
- Death From Above, 1979: I don't need you, I want you.
- Poe: Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me?
- Killers: Don't you want to feel my bones, on your bones? It's only natural.
- Garbage: If we sleep together will you like me better?
- Nine Inch Nails: Kinda I want to maybe and just for tonight, we could pretend it's alright.***
- Primus: Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
- Stone Temple Pilots: I'm gonna give you something that you won't forget, I said you shouldn't have worn that dress.
- Tenacious D: Get on top honey. You do what you like.
- dEUS: Let's do it serpentine anytime, let's do it right here.
- Lords of Acid: I want to sit on your face.
- Machine Gun Fellatio: I like lips and eyes and mouth and smooth soft skin.
- NOFX: My name's Louise, now would you take your clothes off please?
- Damien Rice: Do you wanna get boned, you wanna get stoned, you wanna get a room like no-one else, you wanna be rich, you wanna be kitsch, you wanna be the bastard of yourself, you wanna get burned, you wanna get turned, you wanna get fucked inside out?
- Pedro the Lion: Just one more kiss, just one more touch, please ten more minutes.
* Remy Zero
**Especially in this town where any attractive girl has already been hit on at least 749 times by the time I see her that day.
*** Obviously this is very mild compared to some NIN lyrics I could have used.
10 comments:
come here baby
i love your company
we can do it
and start a family
You could always use a win-win pickup line like:
Um, kiss me if I am wrong, but you really want to have dinner with me tonight.
How could you lose?
see those lines only work if you are some rich and famous rockstar which I gather that you are not.
Try this: Hi. Steve Wynn is my dad. You want to take a ride in my Laborghini?
Yeah, you won't have any luck with lyrics by angry people. You would be better off switching to Top 40 mode:
Everything I do, I do it for you
I can love you like that
I need an everlasting love, an everlasting precious love, wait for it, wait for it, give it some time
Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace
I dream at night, I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
In my mind...we can conquer the world
You're still the one
I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
Nothing compares 2 U
In your eyes
My endless love
That makes you larger than life
There is an endless supply of songs written by guys for the specific purpose of getting into a girl's pants, like "Hey There Delilah":
Times Square can't shine as bright as you... I swear it's true
ok seriously. if anyone ever quoted sappy love songs to me I would probably vomit.
I agree that sappy songs like that have no doubt worked for countless guys throughout the years, but I'm going to have to agree with Starlet on this one (see also the 'without sounding desperate' part of my dilemma).
I'm not saying that I respect sappy love songs or that I am immune to gagging. All I'm saying is Lyle Lovitte and Julia Roberts; Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley. If you choose to point out that these couples are no longer together, I will respond, "That must have been the point when the lyrics wore off."
One more thing. I like the idea of telling people that Steve Wynn is my dad, but what happens when the agree to a ride in my lamborghini and they see my ghetto sled instead? Is that when I break out the chloroform?
I can probably get you some GHB out of the evidence room. :)
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