I'm so tired of acting tough and I'm gonna' do as I please, let's get married

Last night I went to a wedding. I've known the couple for as long as I've lived in Vegas, and they're two of the grooviest people I've ever met. As such, their wedding was unconventional, and a LOT of fun. This couple has fully embraced the ridiculousness of Las Vegas, and worked that into the wedding ceremony. As guests arrived, they were asked to pick some costume items off a table to dress in long enough for someone to snap a polaroid picture (items included a feather boa, handcuffs, light sabres, clown noses, fake glasses, fake sideburns, dunce caps, etc.). Right next to the "costume" table was perhaps the best ice sculpture I have ever seen at a wedding.



They were married by the bride's brother-in-law, who happened to be dressed as Elvis. He even sang a few Elvis songs. There was also a little Elvis in attendance. I believe he was part of the bride's family, but am not completely sure about that. It wouldn't really be a Vegas wedding if Elvis wasn't involved somehow, and normally I would think that was tacky, but it was perfect for these two. I heard a rumor that they went to the junkyard with all the old neon signs from casinos to take some of their wedding pictures. I wouldn't be surprised at all to see that. They also gave out decks of used playing cards. A few of us played blackjack at the beginning of the reception.

Since the couple has been living together for quite some time, they said that they didn't need any gifts. In lieu of bringing a gift for them, they asked people to make a charitable donation in the amount that they would have spent. I thought that was a fantastic idea. Keeping this in mind, take a look at the center piece that was on my table at the reception:



The happy couple's first dance was to Dr. Bernice by Cracker. It's a great song, but the lyrics aren't exactly what you'd call "first dance" material:

Baby don't you drive around with Dr. Bernice
She's not a lady doctor at all
She's got hands like a man
With hair on the back
She'll crush you in her embrace

Though the wind may whisper and moan sometimes
We all need a kind place to live
Though the wind may whisper and howl at your door
We all need the comfort of friends

Baby don't you drive around with Dr. Bernice
That ain't a real Cadillac
It's a Delta 88 spray painted black
With fake leather seats from Juarez

Though the wind may whisper and moan sometimes
On a hot desert night it is still
Though the world may whisper and howl at your door
You're not obliged to let them all in

Baby don't you ride in that faux Cadillac
If you must please ride in the back
If you sing while you ride you'll be a siren tonight
Spare this poor sailor's life from the rocks

Though the wind may whisper a melody now
We can't find a tune of our own
Though the world may whisper and blow in your face
And tangle the hair on your head

On a hot desert night we can drive down the road
And the stars will spell out your name
On a hot desert night with the windows down wide
The sirens will sing me their song

And the ghost of the sailors who died on the rocks
Feel not a twinge of regret
Though the wind may tangle the hair on your head
You sing like a siren to me

On a hot desert night the caravan stops
At the oasis next to your heart
The soundtrack is played by some aged British Queen
On BBC radio world

Though the wind may whisper an epic sometime
The cast must include Karen Black
Though the symphony strings shift with the sands
You sing like a siren to me
You sing like a siren to me
You sing like a siren . . . to me.

However, it fit them perfectly. I honestly don't know if they could have picked a better song.

Here's wishing them all the happiness in the world in their life together.