Last night I was talking with someone who is going through a divorce. While I don't really know many of the details of hers, our conversation reminded me of a lot of the details of mine. I'm not going to revisit those, but it did remind me of what became my theme song during that time. Here are the lyrics (as best as I can tell):
Scolding Wife by Great Big Sea
Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant around the room and in
And she'd sell me to the devil for a glass or two of gin
Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram
And if I chance to say a word it's well I know my doom
She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head
When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed
When I come home at supper time with patience I must stop
'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slops
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
Well once I asked my scolding wife if I could go to bed
She scarce gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head
When like a roaring lion she came bustin' down the door
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
Now me and my companions go to a public place
She'll search around the neighborhood until she finds my face
She'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company
Saying petticoats is your master and forevermore shall be
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
(fades out)
Sadly, there's not a great video of it on YouTube, so this is the best of what I had to choose from:
I missed a chance to see these guys play in L.A. about two years ago. Some of my friends went, but I didn't because I would have had to drive all night and then teach the next morning on no sleep. Looking back, I wish I would have gone.
6 comments:
Dude, that's a longgggggggg theme song. I was beginning to suspect this was another of your shaggy dog stories.
wow, what a song
Minnow, WOW, thats the first thing I have to say about that post. It hits home, but I can honestly tell you, Being married was a great thing. I think that I am unique in that I do absolutely remember the first 12 years of marriage, and dont just focus on the last 3 that we had.. YES those last Three SUCKED, and human nature is to remember the end of stuff. whether its Movies, relationships or our bliss... I can tell you those first twelve were AWESOME and as much as a bitch as she was in the last three.. I still hold on to hope, although if she takes Alimony from me I may be too broke to ever have spending money again -- she will turn me into a peanut butter eating bitter asshole if she has her way... FUCK HER ... I hate peanut butter... well I dont, .....just only if thats all I get to ever be able to aford in the future, then I hate her AND the peanut butter...and mind you I am not bitching about the Child Support, I so WANT to pay that money because I will never let myself be shut out of their lives... stupid divorce ...
Mr Troll and I must think alike...I thought this was going to be one of THOSE stories again.
Hell hath no lyrical imagination like a man scorned. Keep away from the noose Minnow.
You should have done the concert because it would have been a great story, and you probably would have given your class a hell of a lecture on no sleep and with alcohol still running through your system.
Troll, I probably shouldn't have typed out the chorus every time they sang it, but it's such a good one, I couldn't help myself.
Michelle, it's a bit harsh, but I love it.
Bill, I understand where you're coming from. My ex and I definitely had some good times together, and I have a lot of good memories too, but not all good things last forever. Luckily, she and I are still able to be friends, which I think benefits the kids a lot.
Gypsy, after the threats I got last time I wouldn't dare tell another shaggy dog story.
$2, I should have gone, you're right. Another reason I didn't is because they were playing a few nights later in Salt Lake, and I thought I might be able to drive up there and take my kids. Unfortunately, that show sold out, so it wasn't an option. I have yet to see them play a live show, but my friends who have say they're fantastic.
Post a Comment