Friday, October 24, 2008

Livin' it up while I'm going down

I went to the library earlier this week. As I walked up to the door I saw a tall blonde with an excellent body. She was dressed in the sort of clothes that strippers wear on their day off. You know the outfit, the tight sweat suit sort of things where the pants are riding a little low and the top shows their midriff. I hate it when fat girls wear those things, but luckily, this girl wasn't fat, so I didn't have to gouge my eyes out with a spoon.

I walked in behind her, and we both went to the elevator, which was cool because I got to check her out the entire time without looking like a creep because that's where I was going anyway. Well, maybe I did look like a creep, but I don't care, because I am a creep, but the main point is that she didn't see me looking like a creep. Or so I thought.

The elevator doors opened, and we both got in. She walked to the back of the elevator, and I turned and punched the button for the fifth floor. There were more people getting in behind me, so I also stepped to the back of the elevator. As I took my first step, a hand reached out and smacked me in the middle of my chest. It was the stripper looking girl.

I was stunned. Not by the fact that she hit me hard, but I was trying to figure out how she possibly could have seen me checking her out. It was impossible. I was out of her line of sight the entire time. As my mind raced to try to think of something to say or do I heard her say, "Hey, how are you?"

For the first time I looked at her face. She was a former student of mine, she just looked different because she'd gone and gotten herself some bleached hair and a boob job.

You'd think that'd be enough to make me change my ways, but it won't.


steph said...

whoa -- i just reaized that my first class of kids ever is just about 18, and if i saw one of them and thought they were hot, that would be very....creppy for me. ew.

A.B. said...

why did she hit you?

Native Minnow said...

Steph, in my defense, she looks like this now.

AB, just to say hello. It wasn't hard, it just startled me and I started thinking all of that until I saw who it really was. This story is much better in my head than it is when put into words.

2 Dollar Productions said...

I hope you followed that up with something along the lines of "let me apologize by getting coffee/a drink/etc. with you and catch up."

Obviously, things had changed since you knew her.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Hot chicks are awesome I am for them in general and since she was an Ex-Student she was in play...