Silentkid: There was a guy there last night who was older than my dad. I looked over at him and should've said, "Hey, what are you doin' here?" There were only like four girls in the whole place.
Me: You should've hit on that one girl.
Silenkid: What one girl? The refreshment girl? The one I was staring at all night?
Me: I don't know. What was she wearing?
Silentkid: Something red, with a little cape.
Me: Yeah, that one.
Silentkid: She was flirting with a gay pirate.
Me: What you should've done was tapped the gay pirate on the shoulder and said, "Mind if I cut in?" and then put it in her butt.
Silentkid: Just like that.
Me: Yup. I wonder how long it'd take you to finish if you're raping someone in public.
Silentkid: That is a good question. I don't know.
Me: There's really only one way to find out.