Tuesday, November 04, 2008

If you're not lurking behind every curtain

Here's my list of failed Halloween costumes, and the reasons why I didn't go with them.

Pau Gasol


I'm incapable of growing a neck beard.

Bill Phelps: Michael Phelps estranged step-brother


I don't have a "good" enough body to show off, plus I'm not hung like there's a cucumber in my speedo.

Minotaur


I couldn't find a battle-ax.

Lance Armstrong


I have both of my testicles.

Pedophile Cowboy


Didn't want to have to bother with finding a molester van to drive around.

Altar Boy: First Communion


I didn't want to have to constantly look over my shoulder to make sure Pedophile Cowboy wasn't trying to stick something up my butthole*.

Trick or Treat Octopus


I couldn't find a pumpkin.






*That's especially for the anonymous comment from the other day.

9 comments:

BSH ADMIN said...

There's quite a lot of cartoon weiner in these pics. INTERESTING.

Anonymous said...

But really.
Stop.

silentkid said...

I love these costume ideas. I'm glad you didn't dress up as the Halloween Octopus...I would have had to stick that black cat in your Octopus butthole. Or maybe just a Snickers Bar. The drawings turned out great. I especially like the communion boy. I might borrow that one for my Facebook profile photo. And nothing, I repeat nothing, is funnier than cartoon weiner.

Amber said...

oh you should definitely shoot for the trick or treat octopus next year! LOL

2 Dollar Productions said...

The Phelps brother would have been outstanding and you could have easiily bought a cucumber to fill the suit to the breaking point. Or not.

A.B. said...

and just when I was thinking you were straight.... you draw penises.

Kris said...

I hope you didn't spend too much time on your cartoons...there is DNA sequencing to be done.

deputymomof6 said...

You should never go with a pedophile costume on Halloween. You would have been near many of your own kind because that is their favorite holiday. Kinda like their favorite job would be working at Disneyland.

TROLL said...

Did you draw Phelps with mutant proportions on purpose? He is a mutant. I read his body stats somewhere. Way out of proportion.

It wasn't a gay thing. It was a sports science thing.