Tuesday, November 04, 2008

If you're not lurking behind every curtain

Here's my list of failed Halloween costumes, and the reasons why I didn't go with them.

Pau Gasol


I'm incapable of growing a neck beard.

Bill Phelps: Michael Phelps estranged step-brother


I don't have a "good" enough body to show off, plus I'm not hung like there's a cucumber in my speedo.

Minotaur


I couldn't find a battle-ax.

Lance Armstrong


I have both of my testicles.

Pedophile Cowboy


Didn't want to have to bother with finding a molester van to drive around.

Altar Boy: First Communion


I didn't want to have to constantly look over my shoulder to make sure Pedophile Cowboy wasn't trying to stick something up my butthole*.

Trick or Treat Octopus


I couldn't find a pumpkin.






*That's especially for the anonymous comment from the other day.

9 comments:

Lillie said...

There's quite a lot of cartoon weiner in these pics. INTERESTING.

Anonymous said...

But really.
Stop.

silentkid said...

I love these costume ideas. I'm glad you didn't dress up as the Halloween Octopus...I would have had to stick that black cat in your Octopus butthole. Or maybe just a Snickers Bar. The drawings turned out great. I especially like the communion boy. I might borrow that one for my Facebook profile photo. And nothing, I repeat nothing, is funnier than cartoon weiner.

Amber said...

oh you should definitely shoot for the trick or treat octopus next year! LOL

2 Dollar Productions said...

The Phelps brother would have been outstanding and you could have easiily bought a cucumber to fill the suit to the breaking point. Or not.

Jenny said...

and just when I was thinking you were straight.... you draw penises.

Anonymous said...

I hope you didn't spend too much time on your cartoons...there is DNA sequencing to be done.

deputymomof6 said...

You should never go with a pedophile costume on Halloween. You would have been near many of your own kind because that is their favorite holiday. Kinda like their favorite job would be working at Disneyland.

h said...

Did you draw Phelps with mutant proportions on purpose? He is a mutant. I read his body stats somewhere. Way out of proportion.

It wasn't a gay thing. It was a sports science thing.