Monday, January 04, 2010

I just wanna be your firecracker, and maybe be your baby tonight

Friend: I was talking to an old friend of mine who's about to have her second kid. She's married, and happy, but you know what she told me she missed the most about being single?

Me: What?

Friend: She said she missed the anonymous sex. Isn't that terrible?

Me: That's pretty funny.

Friend: I just can't believe anyone would say they miss that. Can you?

Me: I wouldn't know. I've never had a one night stand.

Friend: WHAT!?!? Never?

Me: Never.

Friend: How can you not have had a one night stand*?

Me: How long have you known me? Does that sound like something I'd do? Besides, I can't even pick up on girls, let alone be able to seal the deal in one night.

Friend: A one night stand is something that should be on your bucket list.

Me: That doesn't really seem like a bucket list sort of thing.

Friend: Put it on your bucket list. Do it right now.

*I should've asked my friend how many one night stands she's had, but maybe that sort of thing is best left unsaid.


BSH ADMIN said...

One night stands are overrated. This is coming from someone whose had hundreds.

Bill From Gainesville said...

anonymous one night stand sex is better then no sex at all. I know because "no Sex at all" has been how my little slump is playing out for this past summer and fall and now it is not looking like a slump buster is going to get here this winter either.

Gypsy said...

Really? Never? Not that there's anything wrong with that and trust me you aren't missing a thing but Really?

2 Dollar Productions said...

Love when I recognize post/song titles (which isn't often), but I'll take Ryan Adams for $100 . . . Anyway, that does sound like a good bucket list item and if your friend opened up the subject, I think it's reasonable to ask for a ballpark figure, especially if it was over drinks.

TROLL Y2K said...

How many times have you sought a deep meaningful relationship but the harlot broke it off after sex occurred for the first time?

You could count those.

In fact, you SHOULD count those.

Native Minnow said...

BSH, so what you're saying is that between the two of us we've got it covered?

Bill, I hope your "slump buster" arrives soon.

Gypsy, I'm pretty sure one has to have game to be able to have that happen. As we all know, I've got none.

$2, you're right, I should've asked. However, it's well known amongst my friends that I don't ask follow up questions.

Troll, okay, I'll count those. The number's still zero ;-)

silentkid said...

I prefer the gloryhole in the men's room at Paddy's Pub. You never know what you'll get, but you'll love it.

PS: I didn't realize that everyone has sex all the time until a few years ago. I grew up mormon. Cut me some slack.

Native Minnow said...

The problem with the glory hole at Paddy's Pub is that they have the sliding panel that pretty much negates the anonymity of the whole thing.

Boxer said...

kinda interested in how/why you know about the glory hole?

Native Minnow said...

Boxer, it's from an episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia aka the funniest show on television.

Manuel said...

my sex was always anonymous....even when I was married...actually especially when I was married...