I'm in love with the size of a desert

A few days ago I went with a friend to survey abandoned mines. A day spent doing that beats a day working on manuscripts any day of the week. My friend put me in charge of taking pictures of things. Here are a few of the pictures I took.

A mine entrance


Scary structure - we could hear dirt falling here, so didn't proceed any further


The area where five of the openings were


I made a comment about the harsh conditions these miners were working in, and my friend said, "I know. You look out at that, and it all makes sense why Nevada has legalized prostitution." He's got a point. We almost had to go get some prostitutes ourselves, and we were only out there for a day, and we weren't even blasting holes with dynamite or moving ore carts or anything.



The mines were fenced off in order to let people know to be safe and stay out


Some were fenced off better than others


This mine was one of my favorites


Even if it had experienced instability at some point as evidenced by this giant rock that had fallen from the ceiling


The mine was old enough, and damp enough, that some miniature stalactites had formed


Guano!


This was the mine with the coolest entrance. Fine. I admit it. I'm a sucker for a good 'Keep Out' sign.


This looked a little more stable than the wooden structure pictured above, but we still didn't go down. Safety first!




This mine was really cool too, in part because of the rails for the ore carts. Turns out that's not just something you see in old Scooby Doo cartoons and Donkey Kong video games after all.


The same tracks from the inside of the mine looking toward the entrance.


Guess what else we saw. Bats!!!






So there you have it. A slightly more exciting day in the life of Native Minnow.

Ain't nothing in this world for free

It goes without saying, but the job market it incredibly frustrating right now. I had one position all lined up for after I graduated, but that university has instituted a hiring freeze on any full time employees until the economy is in better shape so that's no longer an option. I really thought that hiring freeze would be lifted by now, but it's not.

To add to the frustration, I just found out that the hiring for another job has been "postponed for a year due to another round of state budget cuts." I'll keep looking because I have no other choice, but I've already been turned down for a bunch of jobs, and it's hard to be motivated to keep applying knowing that the result is likely to be the same with each new application I send in. When there are only a couple of jobs advertised each month, each one of them receives 100-200 applicants, so simple probabilities suggest that I'll need to apply for a hundred jobs before I get one, right?

I shouldn't complain though. At least I have something worked out that will keep me with a paycheck through the upcoming semester. I'm sure that's better than what some graduates are facing right now, so I'll take it and I'll be happy about it. The only reason I'm going into all of this in the first place is so you can see the timeliness of an email a friend of mine just got from his mother:

I found you & [Minnow] a job out there in Vegas. They are getting ready to hire male prostitutes at a brothel about 150 miles from Vegas; you can make about $300.00 per person-from 5 to 20 women each night!! Does that sound like a winner or what??? LOL!!

I may have to look into this further if something else doesn't pan out soon.

Before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man

My Brother: I have to run to the store real quick. Come with me.

Me: Ok. Let me grab my sweatshirt.

17 Year Old Niece: Hey! Where are you going?

Me: I'm going with your dad.

Niece: Can I come?

Me: No. We're doing some male bonding.

Niece: I don't know what that's supposed to mean.

Me: Alright. I shouldn't tell you this, but your dad and I are going to get a Thai hooker.

Niece: Good luck finding one of those. This is Utah, not Vegas.

Me: They're around. You just need to know where to look.

You can always be your own girl

Things Tortellini doesn't want to be when she grows up, according to an assignment she handed in for English class:

1. A professional athlete

2. A massage therapist

3. A prostitute


Number three is such a relief.

No more floozies only high class hoes

Reasons why I'm thinking of becoming a high end prostitute:

- There's a lot of money involved.
- I need money.
- I can be discrete when necessary.
- It is prestigious to have sex with celebrities.
- Rich guys would buy me stuff (e.g., jewelry, nice hotels, fancy dinners, etc.).


Reasons why it probably wouldn't work out:

- I'm not female.
- I'm not hot.
- I don't have a "purdy" mouth.
- My butthole doesn't fit all sizes.
- I wouldn't swallow.
- STDs.