The whole wide world is at it again, showing me how it feels good to bleed

You know how sometimes life is really shitty, and you keep trying to do things to make it less shitty, but none of those things seem to work, and things just get shittier and shittier? That.

I won't go into all the reasons why, but I had planned on moving last week, to a much nicer place, albeit with a longer commute, but the whole thing fell through on moving day. So, as I finished loading the U-Haul, I found out I had no place to go, but still had to be out of the old apartment by the next day as they had new tenants moving in the following week. The solution? All my shit is now piled up in my brother's garage, and I'm living out of boxes in his basement until I figure something else out.

Good times.

I am still alive though. Thought some of you might be happy to at least hear that part.

Don't go 'round when the Devil's loose

A few weeks ago I went to my brother's house for a Sunday dinner. While there, he and I started talking about how we should go try to fish.

Brother: Is it okay if I go fishing with [Minnow] tonight?

Sister-in-Law: You can do whatever you want. I don't care.

Me: Alright!!! Let's go expose ourselves to female joggers along the river trail!

I need some air that no-one's been breathing

I seriously don't know where the time goes anymore. I went on a hike last weekend, and meant to post about it before now, but better late than never I guess.

It all started when I posted one of the pictures from the drive I went with on my brother on Facebook. One of my old high school friends commented on how gorgeous it was, and then said that the next thing I needed to do was meet her and her husband for a hike the next morning. I haven't seen either of them since high school, but it was a hike I'd been wanting to do all summer long, but thought there would still be too much snow to make it up that high. There was still snow, but she said they'd heard it was passable, so I joined them. It wasn't a hard decision to make. I'm really glad I went. It was nice catching up with the two of them, and the scenery was simply phenomenal. Here are some of the pics I took.

It's been a relatively cool summer, so there were still plenty of wildflowers:



As expected, we did have to cross a few snow fields:



The view from the other side of the first snow field wasn't too shabby:



And it just kept on getting better. This is my favorite picture from the hike:



Here are some hikers and their dog that were crossing another snow field in front of us:



The scariest part for me was that I'd lost my sunglasses, and was worried about getting snow blindness. I had to squint my eyes as much as possible while walking across the snow so as not to burn my retinas. I think I did sunburn my eyelids, even though I'd applied sunblock, but better the outside of those than the eyes themselves. Luckily, everything turned out fine.

We eventually came up along a ridge just before making our final ascent to the summit. The view was pretty good on both sides of the trail:





The summit was pretty cool too:





But perhaps the funnest part of the entire hike was when we were crossing one of the steep snow fields, and decided to follow someone else's slide rather than walk back down. Here's a picture that shows you how steep the slope was:



And here's one of the slide itself:



We also saw a commode that has a view that rivals any:



No, I didn't use it.

At some point during our ascent, my friend told me that I hadn't changed a bit since high school. She added that she was glad that it wasn't weird hanging out again after all this time.

"Really? I think I've changed a lot since high school."

"Yeah?" she asked, "How so?"

I answered, "I'm way more cool now than I ever was back then."

All in all, it was a good day!

The way the scattered ever-busy bright lights of a city might look off to a distant mountain range

You know, some days you just have to get up into the mountains. Here are a few pictures I took when I went for a rather long drive with my brother and his two youngest girls. Of course we had to get out and play around in the water a little bit here and there.

Here are some of the pictures I took along the way. They're not very good because I forgot my regular camera, so had to take these with my phone, but hey, it's better than nothing.

















I would've taken more, but the last half of the drive was in Wyoming, and we all know how ugly Wyoming is.

I posted the second to the last picture on Facebook, which immediately prompted an invitation to go hiking with an old high school friend the next morning. I'll post those pictures later. Wouldn't want to overrun your senses with too much rugged beauty.

So please, let me be lonely tonight

Yesterday I had lunch at a Mexican restaurant we frequent, and had the following conversation with the owner when I went to place my order.

Him: Where's that girl that came in with you last time?

Me: I don't know. I'm sure she's around somewhere.

Him: Why don't you two date? She's single. You're divorced.

Me: She's too good for me.

Him: That's what you want.

Me: Nah. I want a bad girl.

Him: So take her and wreck her.


Maybe the man has some sound advice after all.

You are not easily swayed if swayed means moved

Oh. Hi there. Remember me? I'm the guy who never posts on his blog anymore. But if you can find it within yourself to forgive me, I have a perfectly good explanation. I've been busy trying to enjoy summer. See?

It all started with my boss asking me to go on a collecting trip. Five days through some gorgeous areas: Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. Well, they're all gorgeous except for Wyoming. The only good part of Wyoming is the Grand Tetons:



And Yellowstone National Park:



The rest of Wyoming is pretty desolate. Here's a picture I took of Wyoming's most populated area:



Colorado was pretty cool, except for the suicidal deer we encountered.



I have a picture of the deer too, but won't make you sad by posting it. Luckily, the car was still drivable and we were able to finish the trip. We even made it until the last night before getting pulled over for missing a headlight. The cop let us off with a warning, but then, ten minutes later, we got pulled over again. The second cop just laughed at us, told us we had two more speed traps to make it through, so to drive slowly through town, but then to run like hell once we made it past those. He was alright.

Sure, I've been back for over a week now, but I've been doing some other things. Like going on hikes to mountain lakes:



And waterfalls:



It's all part of my master plan to actually start enjoying my life again. It's sort of working.

Let's start at the beginning, let's go back to square one, I never loved you, I've never loved anyone

Remember that ridiculous Vegas wedding I attended a few years ago? The one where everyone dressed up like pimps? The one with a porno actress in attendance? (Come to think of it, I may have neglected to mention that when I blogged about it before.) Well, my sister came across a calendar featuring said porn actress. Of course she bought it. Of course she mailed it to me. Of course I'm blogging about it.

If you had told me it was possible to make a lingerie/swimsuit calendar with zero negative sex appeal when I was younger, I'd have thought you were insane. Yet, somehow, this exists:

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December


There were actually two that she sent. One was for me, one was for a friend of hers that was also at the wedding. She told me to pick my "favorite" and send the other on to him. It rained the day they were delivered. So I kept this one, not because I liked it best, but because several of the pages were stuck together, and I couldn't have her friend thinking he'd been the unwilling recipient of a "used" calendar.

I'll go away now.

Turn around, turn around, there's a thing there that can be found. Turn around, turn around, it's a human skull on the ground.

Last week a girl I know texted to say I should go hiking with her over the weekend. My brother texted me a few days later to see if I wanted to go hiking with him. Being the amazing accommodator I am, I asked both of them if they'd mind hiking as a group. They both agreed that would be fine, so the three of us set out on Saturday morning to try and make it to a lake in the mountains.

My brother told us that he'd tried to hike it with his two youngest last year in June, but couldn't go all the way there because of the snow. Even though we were attempting it a month later, we also had a lot more snow last winter, so we ran into the same problem. We eventually got into enough snow that the girl and I decided to turn around. After all, I was wearing sandals, and she was wearing shoes with very little traction. My brother decided to go on ahead. He didn't want to make an attempt to get there twice in a row without making it all the way up. He made it and took some gorgeous photos. It kind of made me wish I'd dressed appropriately, but oh well. There's always time to go up when the snow is gone.

Before we parted ways, my brother had made mention of his previous attempt to hike it with his girls a few other times on the trail. I only bring this up so I can tell you this conversation that occurred when we were about halfway up the trail and he pointed at a weird looking root.

Him: Dude, I think that's a bone.

Me: Yup.

Him: Seriously. I think it's a human bone.

Me: I'm sure it is.

Him: You're not even looking. Look at it.

Me: Looks like a jaw bone. It's probably from the hooker you killed the last time you came up here. When you said to your girls, "You guys go on ahead. Daddy's got some business to take care of back here."

Girl: Jesus Christ, [Native].


Hey, at least I always leave an impression.

I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago, and ever since I've lived a life of misery and woe

Just now I was riding the elevator with one of the professors I work with. A student came on and pushed the button for the seventh floor. The professor asked, "Why would you want to go up to seven?"

"My wife works there," the student answered.

I asked, "Why would you ever want a wife?"

He couldn't give me a valid reason.

There's a distance between me and a world that's offering its hand

In case you haven't guessed it, I'm depressed. And what do I do when I'm depressed? Besides wallow in self-pity, I mean? That's right. I put together music mixes. Here's the latest one.

Nobody's Man (click to download)
1. Weapons - The Daylights
2. Fall Into You - Gus Black
3. Wonderful (The Way I Feel) - My Morning Jacket
4. Reflections Of The Marionette - Two Gallants
5. When You Call My Name - Dawes
6. I And Love And You - The Avett Brothers
7. House Built For Two - Delta Spirit
8. Thanks For Nothing - Middle Brother
9. Rust - Telekinesis
10. Angelyne - The Jayhawks
11. Friday XIII - Deer Tick
12. Monster Ballads - Josh Ritter
13. Here's Looking At You, Kid - The Gaslight Anthem

I'd be curious to hear whether or not you like it.

When it hits me that she's gone

Middle Brother - Million Dollar Bill

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll run for President
Get my face put on the million dollar bill
So when these rich men that she wants
Show her ways they can take care of her
I'll have found a way to be there with her still

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll be an astronaut
Make the moon my home and leave this world behind
So when she steps out into the night
To find some light that makes her pretty
She'll be facing me every time she shines

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

When it hits me that she's left me alone
When I finally move on with my life
Her goodbye written into stone
And her shadow grown into a night

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll be a movie star
Play the finest man the world has ever seen
So when the lovers that she's found
Show her ways they learned to talk to her
Behind each perfect word will be a little bit of me

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

I'm big in Japan

Don't ask me how we got on this topic, because I surely don't remember, but a little while ago my friend and I were talking about license plate frames we could make specifically for Japanese Americans.

- I'd rather be watching anime

- I'd rather be eating sushi

- I'd rather be catching Pokemon

- I'd rather be practicing Kenpo

- I'd rather be with my geisha

Good enough for now

Me: That kid was kind of being a little bitch.

Brother: I know. HIs older brother is the same way. He was here tonight too.

Me: Was that the guy with the five o'clock shadow?

Brother: It was a full beard, but yeah.

Me: Oh. I guess I didn't really pay that much attention to him. I spent more time checking out his girl.

Brother: She wasn't that cute.

Me: I know. But she was here.

And your ears just wanna ring, and your eyes just wanna close, nothin' changin' I suppose

The other day one of my old TAs forwarded me this email from a former student of hers:


Hey [TA],

My name is [Student]. I was in your [lab] last summer. I don't know if you remember me or not, but I was there. I sent you some Brian Regan clips a while back. Anyway, hey, I was wondering if you can help me out. I am trying to get a hold of the professor. I am almost sure his last name was [Minnow], but I can't remember his first name. Also, I think he left the school for another one. My point is, I am trying to get into Dental school and I need some professors to write letters of recommendation for me and I was going to see if he would be interested. Can you help me out at all? If not, thanks anyway.

[Student]


Um, yeah, Dude Who Can't Even Remember My Name*, let me get right on that for you.









*He emailed me today and tried to make it sound like we were tight during the semester**.

**I politely told him I don't remember him and he'd be better off having someone else write on his behalf.

If you're going my way, I want to drive it all night long

I've taken the advice of a very wise man, and have uploaded my road trip videos to YouTube. So, if you've ever wondered what it'd be like to be on a road trip with me (and let's face it, you know you have), it's a whole lot of this:









P.S. These aren't as awesome as I thought they were. They didn't look this shaky on my phone. Whatever. Next time, you can come along with me and try holding the camera still.

Let's watch the flowers grow

Oh yeah, I've been meaning to post pics from a couple of weeks ago when I went to the 'Tulip Festival.' I know that sounds gay, but I was with two chicks. I swear. I'm annoyed that I forgot to take my camera because if I had, the pictures would have turned out nicer than these that were taken using my phone. Oh well.

And over the world am I

I've been making a conscious effort to shed a few pounds. I'm not on a crash diet or anything, but I am paying better attention to how much I eat, and am trying to get some exercise in a couple of times a week. There's a nice little trail that runs real close to my house, and it's fairly scenic. The other day I took a few pictures.

2 blocks from my house:


3 miles from my house:




If you're jealous, don't be. The scenery is great, but living here pretty much sucks. At least when one has few friends and little money.